10 Common Mistakes to Avoid When Writing a Eulogy
- david cortez
- Jun 23
- 3 min read
Writing a eulogy can feel overwhelming. In the midst of grief, the pressure to “get it right” , to honor someone’s life in just a few short minutes can be paralyzing. Whether you’re a seasoned speaker or writing one for the first time, this guide can help you avoid the most common mistakes when writing a eulogy and create a tribute that truly reflects your loved one.
1. Trying to Summarize Their Whole Life
You don’t need to recount every milestone or achievement. A great eulogy doesn’t list everything. It captures something. A feeling. A story. A defining moment. Focus on a few meaningful experiences that represent who they were and how they made others feel.
2. Forgetting the Audience
A eulogy is for the people listening. Don’t just talk about your own relationship with the person. Include moments that others in the room might connect with. Think about what their friends, coworkers, and family would nod at or smile about.
3. Using Overly Formal Language
Speak from the heart. You’re not delivering a report. You’re telling a story. If it helps, write it the way you’d say it out loud to a friend. People remember warmth, not perfect grammar.
4. Avoiding Humor Entirely
It’s okay to laugh. A eulogy can (and often should) include lightness. If they had a great sense of humor or a signature joke, include it. Smiles through tears are a powerful part of remembering someone.
5. Making It Too Long
The sweet spot for a eulogy is about 5 to 7 minutes. Any longer, and people may start to lose focus. Time it out when you practice. Aim for clarity and emotional impact over detail.
6. Being Vague or Generic
Avoid generalities like “He was a great guy” or “She always lit up the room.” Instead, give a specific example: “He never missed a Tuesday trivia night, even when he was sick and always brought extra pens just in case someone forgot.”
7. Winging It Without a Script
Even if you know what you want to say, emotions can take over in the moment. Having a written version (even just bullet points) helps you stay grounded and ensures you don’t forget what matters most.
8. Leaving Out the Struggles
You don’t need to sugarcoat everything. If they had challenges or quirks, acknowledging them with honesty and compassion makes the eulogy feel real. No one is perfect, and that’s part of what makes them human and loved.
9. Focusing Only on Death
A eulogy is about a life, not just the loss. While grief is present, try to focus more on who they were while they lived. Their passions, their routines, their relationships. These are the things that truly last.
10. Not Asking for Help
You don’t have to do this alone. Ask family or friends for memories or stories. Read it to someone you trust before the service. And if writing feels too hard, there are tools — like A Life Portrait — that can help you organize photos, memories, and words into a beautiful tribute.
Final Thoughts on Common Eulogy Mistakes
There’s no perfect eulogy. But there is your voice, your memories, and your love and that’s more than enough.
If you’re looking for a meaningful way to preserve their story, consider creating a Memorial Portrait. It’s free to start, simple to use, and helps turn photos and memories into a digital tribute you can share with loved ones.
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